Wednesday, September 1, 2010

What Matters

I am piano teacher.

I have taken probably a hundred students over the last 15 years and brought them out of musical illiteracy

I created programs for over 400 kids in schools that were mind boggling and awesome.

I single handedly started a hand bell choir that is no longer my own.

I used to think that what I did mattered.

I used to take pride in what I did.

I used to think that I was leaving some kind of legacy.

I used to think that the little piece that I contributed to a person's life would make them happier in the future.

That's what I used to think.

I still think I am am good at what I do.

I still think I can be proud of what I accomplished professionally in the past.

But I no longer think that what I do REALLY matters.

I am really a blip in someone's week.

A milli-blip in someone's life.

Years from now I will be "some lady who taught me piano once"

Is that a legacy?

Nope.

So what does matter?

My family.

How I treat others.

The good deeds I do that are not be known by another soul.

Why do they matter?

On the day I am put to rest, what will be remembered?

Will anyone remember me anyway?

Who knows?

I know that I no longer need to live in what I used to be and wonder why no one cared.

I know know that I can live from this day forward for others.

Can I bring a smile to someone's face?

That's what matters.

For today, I will stop worrying about what I've accomplished in the past and WHY it didn't matter.

For today, I will live for making someone smile, even if that smile is only for today.

When I breathe my last breath, I will face it knowing I cared.

That's what matters.

2 comments:

Deb - Mom of 3 Girls said...

You are so talented - what you do and who you are matters, and always has. You've made a real difference in your students' lives and they will remember that!

The Bumbles said...

Wow - that's some deep introspection. And I don't want to deter you from your new outlook - but I am sure that you will be remembered by many of those students as more than the piano lady. You gave them the gift of expression. I had many music teachers growing up who taught me that making music sometimes is the only way to express the emotions inside that words can't describe. You may have felt underappreciated by many. But remember that you have set others upon a path that some day will end up mattering very much to them, even if they don't have the courage or ability to tell you. On their behalf, thanks piano lady!