As I attended both open houses at both schools that will be attended (as for now) this year by Noah and Aaron, I was asked a question. I stopped in to visit with Noah's first grade teacher from last year and the first thing she asked was, "Can you believe how quickly the summer went?" and I realized that unlike everyone else, I didn't feel like the summer flew by.
But now I'm starting to.
It was an odd sort of summer. I was home all day every day, leaving at night to go teach. But I still don't feel like we did anything worthy all summer long. I'm know we did. But I just feel like all I did all summer long was harp on the boys to be nice and behave.
Last year at the start of school, I had seen an AMAZING transformation in Noah that summer. He had not only learned to do so many things, but had matured so much that I knew first grade was going to be wonderful. And it was.
I guess I was expecting to see the same transformation this summer. Perhaps because Noah didn't need so much improvement as he had the previous summer. Or perhaps because Aaron has developed into such a strong willed challenge of his own that I was more stressed than the previous summer. But I just don't feel like I made a difference this time around. I worry that this summer will have ended and the boys have no fun memories planted in their minds to show for it.
Next week, while we're dealing with the start of school, we will also be dealing with a bunch of difficult family decisions and lots of new challenges. Decisions regarding schools, jobs, and money and new schedules for both boys. Nothing like plowing major changes all into a short period of time. By this time next week, so many of these questions will probably be answered. I have been losing more sleep than I have been getting trying to figure it all out. And it really doesn't do any good since it's all out of my hands at the moment.
As I head into this LAST weekend of summer vacation before school starts, my goal will be this: Let go of what is to come and make the most of our last weekend together before the new school year begins. We'll be heading to a zoo that we haven't been to since Aaron was a baby, as well as trying to find some other fun things to do as a family.
And each time I start stressing about what's to come, and I guarantee I will, I plan to tell myself to live in this moment. The memories we make may be important ones in the days to come.
Have a great holiday weekend and see you next week.