Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Imitation and Introspection

So many times, our kids give us a glimpse into our own parenting. I remember when Noah was little he put one of his stuffed animals in a time out. It gave me a view into how he looked upon my job as disciplinarian.

But even that didn't prepare me for Aaron, the thinker that he is.

I was getting out of the shower Tuesday morning, and I saw him stomping off into Noah's bedroom with Man Bear (the name of his stuffed bear) in tow.

The first thing he did was close the blinds on both windows

and then tucked Man Bear into the covers

I asked him why he was putting man Bear to bed, and he said,

"Man Bear needs to go to bed because he was whining"

Then he insisted that I go give him a hug and kiss good night, which I did.

For the next ten minutes or so, I was required to speak softly to allow Man Bear to fall asleep.

I also wonder if this is a way of trying to gain some control when they feel like have none. Aaron is really struggling with listening to authority right now, fighting back in any way he can, using very unpleasant words and making the meanest faces, and even reaching out and slugging me at times when he is really overwhelmed and frustrated. I have been trying to hard to keep calm about it, but I don't believe I have always been successful. I know it's a phase and it will surely pass, as it did for his brother.

I wonder if I can find more ways like this little episode above to provide him with more opportunities to feel in control of his world, then he won't feel the need to challenge everything he is asked to do.

Or maybe not...he is four after all.

Have a great Thursday.


Timmy's Girl said...

So, did Man Bear stop acting up after he was sent to bed?? ;0)

xoxo, Veronica in CA

Kila said...

As for providing chances for him to feel in control, offer him a couple of choices when possible, and he gets to choose one, such as "this shirt or that shirt" --things that don't really matter one way or the other to you. said...

one of the things that the school is doing with my guy-- is at the begining of the day he has 5 poker chips-- and if he gets overwhelemed or fustrated-- he can hold up a chip and get a break -- without any consequences... I wonder if that might help? that way the boys' would understand that they are in charge of themselves and by them asking for the break, they have to decide if it is worth a chip.

anyway... I hope this helps...
I enjoy reading the love and care in your words -- when you write about the boys, it's clear you are trying to do the best you can!

Andrea said...

haha...that's funny - my 2 1/2 year old does BOTH these things all the time...though when he puts his baby doll to bed it's usually cuz she's just tired. But his fav. stuffed animal gets time outs, etc. too. I hope things get better for you and Aaron though!

bethn said...

Oh my what those boys come up with. I can identify with trying so hard to keep your cool. Dylan and I are fighting that right now too.

KC said...

kids can be so darn cute like that.. I do hope things get better for him and the stuggling though.. it is hard when your little not to have some control over what you do.